“It’s OK to find being a Mum hard”

After finding out that a wonderful friend of mine had become pregnant, I followed her journey offering advice where I could in terms of exercise and nutrition.

After the arrival of her beautiful baby boy Fin, I asked how she was finding motherhood? Her response "Really bloody hard".

I loved her raw honesty and straight to the point reply. I followed on by saying

"That's okay, and totally normal!! If you don't mind me asking, what makes you feel like that?". "Its not easy and can get extremely lonely" she replied. We had a lovely chat about all things entailed in this and i asked her if she would mind writing some of it down for me to share with other new or expecting mums, because she is not alone!! Please take the time to have a read on and Becky and I, both hope it helps some of you find some comfort.

"After wanting a baby for what felt like an eternity we were very lucky to find that our IVF journey was a success.

So, as many other women spend 40+ weeks growing our bundle of joy that was wanted so badly. During that time it was inevitable I would build up an image of how I’d spend my maternity leave; meeting friends for coffee, sitting in the garden during the summer, baby groups, long leisurely dog walks with Chip, and still finding time to train as I did before pregnancy.

Baby Fin arrived safe and well back in April. Along with him came a wonderful, hectic, happy bubble where we had a constant stream of visitors, offers of help, and family there to get us through those frankly horrific early weeks.

After two weeks my husband went back to work, and through no fault of anyone the visits start to stop; everyone has their own lives to lead. This is when I realised I that my perfect year off with my little miracle was going to be harder and very different than I imagined all those weeks back. I started to resent being a mum, I didn’t get any of the time I had before, found the transition so hard, pre-pregnancy hormones not helping. Some days I had no idea where the time went, where was “my time”? Anxiety about leaving the house started to get to me; what if he cries/needs changing/vomits/doesn’t have a nap? I was worried I wasn’t bonding with Fin like I imagined. I even started to hate walking the dog; what if Fin or Chip weren’t enjoying it?

After a few months of this I started to feel lonely, which bought with it a new haul of emotion. I realised I HAVE to make the effort, go to the groups, open up to people and make a new circle of friends. This in itself is daunting, after having Fin I’m not as outwardly confident as I used to be, my clothes don’t fit as well and bits wobble a lot more than before!

My biggest lifeline is the mummy friends made at our antenatal class. They are the only ladies going through the same thing at exactly the same time. We make an effort to meet at least once a week, have a moan and a giggle and just generally help each other out.

Now nearly 6 months in I know that it’s OK to find being a Mum hard, but... it’s the most amazing, best job ever!" If you would like any help and advice on training before, during and after pregnancy, then please don't hesitate to contact me. I must also add, after writing this Becky told me that "It felt good to write about it actually". If you would like to share your experience of anything pregnancy related PLEASE send them in, I would LOVE to hear about them and to be able to share and help others realise- ITS OKAY!!