Special No. 17. Freezing eggs, self love and reflection

This Blog comes from the gorgeous Cassie Pokarier. I had the pleasure of meeting Cassie, when my husband and I spent some time in Australia. I can honestly say she is one of the strongest, gentle and mild women I know. She quietly gets n with life, training, and everything in between. I am so inspired by her zest and guts for life and the things she has, is and will achieve. I love her honestly and her willingness to look and search for ways to help her health and wellness to benefit her life rather than for anyone else. Cassie, you have such a wonderful energy around you that is compelling and calming, and I thank you for letting me share your personal experience with others. In her own honest words, here she is…have a beautiful read…

“December 17th will always be special to me♥️ Just over a year ago I underwent egg retrieval and funnily enough woke with 17 written on my hand (the # of 🥚).

A few hours later we welcomed the arrival of my gorgeous nephew Aidyn. Overjoyed with the news of the day was an understatement. Then before I knew it, Aidyn turned the big ONE. Among all the chaos and crazy (like reflected in this photo) he is gorgeous, smiley & chill!

As a year passed, I reflect on the decision to freeze my eggs. Because if I’m honest it’s only in the last few months that I really appreciate that I did this. Why? Because at the time I passed it off as a simple preventative procedure. Truth... it has been so much more than that. Because for each choice/action there is an effect/consequence (good or bad). What at the time felt like a simple process of injecting myself each day for 2 weeks. Going under in day surgery for the retrieval which went well 17/11 freezable (amazing!)...

Next come the start of a roller coaster of head talk. I never thought that by Christmas (5 days) post procedure I would have gained 10kg (and not from too much pudding). Then spend the next 9 or so months hating on my body. I never really gave myself a break or had any patience and stopped to appreciate the process. Instead, I did anything/everything I could to try and fit back into my clothes… Chinese herbs, acupuncture, diet, training etc etc none of which worked immediately like I wanted.

Why the urgency?

Because why would someone want to date me when I’m fat & why the weight gain, it’s not like I’ve had a baby!! Following this came even heavier questions - Would I consider having a baby on my own? Would I donate my eggs if I don’t use them? The list goes on...

Approximately 3 months ago I realised I never had any patience or gratitude for my body. Grateful for what it produced. Patience that weight loss takes time and more so that the reverse of injecting hormones takes time. Accepting what is and finding the joy in it. Since then I’ve been focusing on what I love again - that’s training for fitness not for physique.. now my head talk has been pleasant and wouldn’t you know it, the weight is slowly falling off.

I wanted to share simply because we are all human, on the journey that is life, each of us with a different story, all of us being tested... and for what point ... only to love and appreciate what is, whatever that looks like 💜"